


pumpkin caper

by cher



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist (Anime 2003), Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Costumes, Found Family, Halloween parties, M/M, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-31
Updated: 2018-10-31
Packaged: 2019-08-05 08:01:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16364000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cher/pseuds/cher
Summary: Ed knows just what his Halloween costume will be. Al isn't so sure.





	pumpkin caper

**Author's Note:**

  * For [boywonder](https://archiveofourown.org/users/boywonder/gifts).



_Year One_

"You're all coming to the party in costumes," Colonel Jerkface announced. "Anyone who doesn't is on coffee and lunch duty for a month."

Hawkeye gave the jerkface the eye, and he deflated like a pricked balloon. Ed thought it was hilarious. "...and you'll explain to Elicia why your costume is missing."

The entire office winced, collectively. Elicia was at an age where her disappointment was near-lethal to adults. They were all hoping she'd grow out of it, except Hawkeye, who wanted to recruit her for assistance in managing Mustang, and Breda, who thought she'd make an excellent undercover agent.

There was no question that they'd all be showing up to Mustang's Halloween party in costume. Varying levels of panic immediately ensued.

Ed, being the genius he was, already knew exactly what his costume would be. He grinned, the pointed kind. This was going to be great.

* * *

In the break room, Havoc, Breda, Fuery and Falman sat worriedly around a table, debating their options. Al sat with them, entertained. So far, he liked Breda the opera singer and Fuery the lion tamer, but he thought that Havoc might have trouble with his first idea of a clown. Havoc didn't really know how to juggle, but insisted that it was an essential part of clowning, and that he could learn. Al worried for Colonel Mustang's windows.

Eventually, they got tired of throwing ideas back and forth. "Where did the Boss go in such a hurry, anyway?" Havoc wanted to know.

"I think he had an idea for his costume and wanted to start on it right away," Al told him. "But he probably wants to keep it secret until the party."

"I didn't think he'd be so into it," Breda said. "Not like him to run off to do something the Chief said without an argument."

"Halloween is Brother's favourite holiday," Al said, smiling. "Back home, he always used to make the best jack-'o-lanterns, even if some people do think it's cheating to use alchemy instead of carving them. He used to make scary statues grow out of the ground all over town, and I would help him and Winry rig up tricks to scare the other kids when they came to Winry's place."

Havoc looked delighted. "You two must have been terrors. No wonder Ed's so good at monsters and putting bat wings on everything."

Al chuckled. "No, he's always been good at that. It's just that at Halloween, no one yells at him for making them. So it's his favourite."

"How about you? I bet you make great scary statues too."

"Oh, no. I leave that to Brother. I like the Spring celebrations best. But I did used to like dressing up for the Halloween night party. But...I guess I can't do that any more."

"Why not?" Havoc asked. "You're invited to the party as well. You better be there; Elicia loves you."

"Well…they don't really make costumes big enough for me. I guess I could wear a sheet, but that doesn't seem like enough, you know?"

Fuery looked him over critically. "It's a shame you can't smooth your spikes out. It'd be easier to find something to fit then."

Al clanked to attention. "I can't…but Brother could! Sergeant, that's a great idea! I'll ask him. Would you let me help with your costume in return?"

Fuery sat up straight and beamed. "Well, here's what I'm thinking so far…"

* * *

Ed was moving around in the dorm when Al got back later in the day. Al could hear him cackling to himself right through the door, and rolled his eyes. Great. Brother thought he was being clever with his costume, which probably meant there was going to be trouble.

He tried to talk to him about it, but Brother wouldn't tell. Just a very worrying smirk. Definitely trouble.

But when Al asked Ed to help him with the spike problem, he looked down and shook his head.

"Al…I can't risk screwing around with your armor that much. It might destabilse the soul mark, and it's not worth chancing it for a costume. We'll find another way."

"Oh," Al said, his voice small. "You're right. I guess I got too excited. I should have thought of that."

"Aw, Al, I know how much you like getting dressed up. We'll find you a great costume, you'll see."

Ed looked so sad on his behalf that Al tried to perk himself up. "Thanks, Brother. I'd like that."

"Well, give me some ideas. What do you want to be?"

"Anything but a scary suit of armor…" Everyone else got to change their clothes if they liked; he was just the same every day. He didn't usually dwell on it, but he was kind of tired of it.

Brother blew out a breath. "That's not much to work with, Al. Do you want to be something different that's scary? Or something that will make Elicia laugh? Dress up as someone we know?"

"Well…I'm kind of tired of people being scared of me. So maybe something else."

Ed tapped his automail fingers on the wall, thinking. "You could go as Winry, or maybe…Major Armstrong? You're the right size."

Al took a step back and looked around as if Ed might have conjured the Major up. "Brother, no! He might…cry. Or hug me. Or both. That's a terrible idea. And how could I go as Winry! That's even worse! You used to be better at costumes than this."

"Huh, I guess you're right about the Major. I don't see what's wrong with Winry, though. She'd think it was great!"

"Brother, she would not. That's so embarrassing. I can't believe you think that's a good idea. What are you going as, if you're so happy with your idea already?" Sometimes, repetition was key with Ed. Maybe if Al asked at the right time, Brother would tell him his probably terrible idea.

Ed smiled that smile that Al really wished he never had to see again. At least when it wasn't directed at a enemy. "It's a surprise," he said again, sounding so pleased with himself that Al was sincerely worried. Maybe he'd have a word with Hawkeye before the party.

That night, while he sat his usual vigil as Ed slept, he had the best idea. He had to fight to hold himself still and not wake Ed. Sheska would help him with it, he was sure. This was going to be great.

* * *

By the time Sheska was finished with him on the day of the party, Al was almost regretting his idea. She was so thorough in everything she did, which was a great trait to have, but right now Al wasn't so sure. Every inch of him was covered in orange and black fake fur, glued straight to his armor. Sheska had even made him a kitty hood to fit over his helmet, with holes for his eyes.

She pushed him in front of the little mirror in her workroom. He couldn't see much of himself at once, but what he could see delighted him. He was a great kitty, even if he did still have spikes. Brother was going to grumble, but he could transmute the glue off of him without affecting the armor, so the solution was perfect.

And Sheska made a wonderful witch, to accompany him. He was glad no one would be able to see him blush beneath his hood.

Now if only Brother would manage not to cause too much of a scene tonight.

* * *

Al was being secretive, which Ed should maybe worry about, but Al was usually more sensible than he was himself, so he could let it go. If it turned out to be another adopted cat, they could deal with that problem later.

He needed to work on his own costume anyway. Cackling to himself, Ed transmuted the blue uniform to fit, and modified the various medals just a bit. He wanted to mock, not get locked up for impersonating an officer.

He couldn't do anything about the colour of his eyes, and he wasn't going to cut his hair short just for a party, but he could dye it. Black hair looked weird, made his eyes look even stranger than they usually did, but the uniform fit and the gloves—with their modified array stitched carefully in red thread—were perfect. They were genius. These gloves pulled moisture out the air and made it rain. He was going to have so much fun with this. Bastard's face was going to be perfect.

* * *

The fire department did not have to be called, in the end, which was a direct result of Ed's genius gloves, so there. It wasn't _his_ fault Mustang couldn't take a joke. 

The bastard was so pissed off. It had been glorious, and totally, completely worth it. 

* * *

_Year Two_

"My costume last year was so great, Al, but this year I'm really going to get him," Ed told him, looking fierce and determined. Way more determined than a little costume party could really explain, come to think. Of course, other explanations were becoming increasingly obvious, to everyone except Ed, and possibly the Colonel. "Do you need any help with yours?"

Al kept the snort he wanted to make to himself. "No, Brother, Sheska's helping me again. Do you think it might be better to tell me what you're going as this year, so I can warn Lieutenant Hawkeye? She might be able to hide the Colonel's gloves this time."

"Well, I'm glad you've got Sheska to help you with yours, but I really hope you don't go nuts with the glue again. That stuff was a real pain to deal with." Ed looked shifty. And maybe…a little embarrassed? That was interesting.

"Like you, all the time?" Al asked, innocent. "And how you're dodging my question?"

Ed grinned and rubbed at the back of his neck. "Well…I might need your help this year, actually."

"Well, of course. What's the costume?"

Brother looked gleeful. "I'm gonna go as a call girl. Boy? Mustang won't know what hit him."

Al wanted all the points in the world for not dropping his face into his hands. There was oblivious, and then there was Ed.

"Brother…did you ever wonder why you're always so worried about what the Colonel thinks of you?"

"He's a bastard, I don't care at all. I just want him to crack, just a for a minute, and if I have to wear a miniskirt to do it then I'm not afraid. Winry does it all the time, it can't be that bad."

Al did put his face in his hands this time. "Okay, Brother. But I really think you should think about what you want to happen after the Colonel notices your miniskirt, because I think it's going to be a shock to you and you should probably get that out of the way before the party."

* * *

The Colonel _did_ crack. In fact, he blushed, a thing Ed had never seen before, so he counted it as an enormous win even if the bastard freaking _hid_ from him all night after that. Bastard. 

Next year. Next year, he'd really get him.


End file.
